The Real Truth About Imposter Syndrome

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Today we are Ctrl Alt Deleting your Imposter Syndrome and conquering this ‘stomach-tied-up-in-knots’ feeling because you are NOT a fraud! ✨

Join us in this VERY raw + vulnerable episode, where we open up about our own struggles with imposter syndrome - from putting insane pressure on ourselves, thoughts we have had about each other, to isolating when feeling overwhelmed.

Press play to hear our actionable strategies to kick imposter syndrome in the butt because it’s time to face your fears and stop lying to yourself.

TLDR:
☕ The 5 "types" of imposter syndrome and discover which one aligns with you
☕ How to identify your triggers and strategies to overcome them
☕ How the lowest points in life can be used as checkpoints in your progress and why this helps
☕ Anxiety, self-doubt and comparing yourself to others is no joke. Reframe your mindset so you can build confidence as a freelancer when imposter syndrome hits hard
☕ It's okay to feel like an imposter but the key is to recognize these feelings, seek support, and focus on positive growth

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Transcript

Molly: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of the Burnout Freelancer podcast with myself, Molly Block and the fabulous LaTara Dunn. And today we're gonna talk about imposter syndrome, how we struggle with it personally, the different types of imposter syndrome, strategies to overcome and face it, and how you can build confidence as a freelancer when imposter syndrome hits hard.

Molly: All content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinicians. If you need medical or psychological help, seek guidance from your own physician and licensed mental health clinician. Alright, let's jump into the show.

LaTara: Hey everybody. We are here to talk about a really important topic, and it's probably a word that you have or a phrase you've heard many times in its imposter syndrome, as Molly said, and that hits really hard at times in your [00:01:00] freelancing career and your journey, especially when you're just starting out.

LaTara: But even as a seasoned freelancer or service provider, you're still going to hit imposter syndrome. And here we are a little over a month into our podcasting journey and I don't know about you, Molly, but I totally felt like an imposter when we decided Hey, let's do a podcast. those were some internal struggles that I faced

LaTara: and I had to work through. and so I feel I have many forms of imposter syndrome in regards to being a partner to my companion, being a mother,owning my own business and then now being a podcaster on top of that.

LaTara: So I definitely face it deal with it, and struggle with it a lot. And, Molly and I, we really wanted this episode to be about something pretty personal because. As we've said, we really want this podcast to be transparent. We're trying to be as honest as possible [00:02:00] and to show you the depths of, who we are as humans so you can feel more confident that you're not alone in this journey.

Molly: Absolutely. hundred percent with that. and as LaTara mentioned, When we started this podcast, I, I had imposter syndrome. I had imposter syndrome when I started my freelance business. And I still come across times where I feel that creep up. and we just hope that throughout this episode we can provide you some tips and, knowledge around imposter syndrome so that you don't, come across it as often in your personal life and your work life.

LaTara: So we're definitely gonna talk about the strategies around that and, break down how to move past it, how to identify it and sit with it for a minute and know that it's okay to have these feelings and don't get stuck in that hamster wheel of, that calm. Psychological thought that we [00:03:00] get stuck inside our heads. so we're gonna be working through our imposter syndromes right along with you because it's totally normal. It's very common in women and we, really are gonna try to keep this as relatable as possible, but also again, focus on it as the freelancer standpoint. let's start at the very beginning. well, what is imposter syndrome? Why is this so common? In, in, in, its very common among high achievers, especially in the freelance. Space. we actually wanted to look at a couple statistics, while we were doing some more research on this topic, and Molly and I actually found a few new things that we didn't even know about impostor syndrome, so that was really cool.

LaTara: So we can't wait to share that with you. But a statistic is around 25 to 30% of high achievers most likely are going to . Suffer from imposter syndrome and around 70% of adults experience imposter syndrome at least once in their lifetime. And this is what research is suggesting. And it's also [00:04:00] again saying it's more common in women.

LaTara: So it's totally normal 

Molly: It's very normal for you to have imposter syndrome.

LaTara: Right, right. And, and again, like you're not an impo imposter. You're actually pretty amazing. So what does imposter syndrome mean, Molly? I feel like we can have a lot of definitions, but let's kind just break down and unpack it for a minute. what would be a definition of imposter syndrome?

Track 1: when we define imposter syndrome,it basically is you feel like a fraud. you attribute any success you have to luck. even if you're overqualified or you have the qualifications or the experience, and again, this goes back to personal life and work life,

LaTara: Yeah. So it almost feels like it's that uncomfortable feeling, in like your gut, you're like, oh, this, my stomach is in knots. oh, the anxiety is creeping [00:05:00] in. anxiety is a very common feeling that you get with the impostor syndrome.

LaTara: It's, it's almost like a result of a symptom of imposter

LaTara: and Even though you're qualified for what you're doing, you really do have the skills. You just tell yourself, you don't, you really don't. You don't know what you're doing. Everyone's gonna talk shit about me because you're thinking what everybody else is thinking, when in reality, no one's really thinking about what you're doing.

LaTara: Like they're just thinking about themselves. Just like you're actually legitimately currently thinking about

LaTara: yourself, ,and

LaTara: you're impost. 

Molly: stuck in your own head in these negative thoughts and tell yourself these things so that. And,

Molly: you start believing these things. You start believing these, negative things that you're telling yourself. And again, it's common, but there's ways to get yourself out of it. that sinking pit in your stomach, I know we've all felt that.

Molly: I feel, I feel that all the time. I feel it all the time, especially if I start with a new client. Like [00:06:00] I just, I get in my head and I've been really trying to get myself out of that because I've been doing this for four years. I don't know everything, but I am qualified for the things that I'm applying for.

Molly: And, The leads that I am receiving, but I just, I get in my head and it, it sucks. I know we've all been there.

LaTara: Yep, exactly. And so it's, so the main characteristics, right? So it's self-doubt, downplaying your skills, fear of failure, perfectionism, which is massive, especially in,the a D H world. Like we, we constantly feel like. We're trying to keep up with others, we're always behind, we're always forgetting things.

LaTara: We get distracted super easy. and so because of that, we are always second guessing and we're just like, yeah, we're, we're a fraud. We're totally a fraud. And we're unable to accept praise [00:07:00] when someone's, saying that you're doing Really well, that imposter syndrome that you're feeling, you are like, no, I'm a fraud.

LaTara: I do not deserve this, feedback that someone's giving me that's so positive about this project I just did, because I totally had to Google the whole thing on how to do it Right.

LaTara: So

LaTara: know, 

Track 1: worst at.

LaTara: If, if you don't know how to do something, you're so afraid and and really it's just a learning process. We're just learning along the way. Every, everybody's just figuring it out as we go along. Nobody fucking knows what they're actually doing,

Molly: No, they don't. Everyone's going through motion and you'll figure it out as you go. And yeah, I mean, the perfectionism thing is huge.

LaTara: It really is. It really is. I get so down on myself when. I, I get so mad at myself I'm always designing things, right? And so I might see this tiny, tiny, [00:08:00] tiny little detail in this whole website I've built, and I see this thing that's outta line, and it makes me so mad, and I beat myself up.

LaTara: I'm like, oh my God, I just did this whole thing and this one thing isn't lined up perfectly. And it's because of my perfectionism, and I beat myself up and I focus on that one thing, but my client's oh my this is amazing. This is so, I, I'm so happy with it, and I'm over here just beating myself up.

LaTara: how do they love this? Look at this stupid mistake I just made, and it's because I I'm, I must be a fake. Right? And that sucks. It sucks to feel that way because it's not true.

Molly: It's not true at all.

LaTara: not a fake. I know what I'm doing. I've achieved much, so much. I've grown so much and I used to not be able to say those things. About myself. I used to not say LaTara, you actually do know what you're doing. I used to not be able to say

Molly: Right.

LaTara: [00:09:00] sometimes I, I sit down and when I'm feeling really low in my business and, and I, and I feel like I, I don't know what I'm doing. I, maybe I just made a mistake or got some bad feedback from a client, and it's not reflection of me.

LaTara: it's not hitting On the point that they're looking for in regards to how, flow needs to go or something. And I'll start talking down on myself, and then I'll use some strategies and I'll be like, Hey, look how far you have come. When you got out of the workforce and got back into work, you didn't even remember what the heck is Google? Like what? What's a in a Google Drive, you

LaTara: remember 

Molly: God. 

LaTara: what was the Google Drive, right?

Molly: I had no idea. I had no idea started. I'm like, Google Drive, Dropbox. What?

LaTara: a Google form Seriously. And so, yeah. So being able to work through that is super important. So[00:10:00] this is really cool and this is gonna help us and we also think it's really gonna help you be able to. Identify these feelings that are coming up. To help you work through them more. So, we kind of wanna reverse engineer it instead of just being like, Hey, these are the strategies on how to work through this that we're suggesting that might help you. Let's actually try to figure out what type of imposter syndrome you're going through so you can use the right types of strategies.

LaTara: So when we found out, this is totally new to Molly and I, we learned this when we were researching this topic and because we felt we were imposters about talking about imposter syndrome,

Molly: Right. what are we talking about?

LaTara: And we're like, do we just talk about the self-doubt we feel all the time? This loathing deep pit of

LaTara: despair 

Molly: Oh my God, 

LaTara: and 

Molly: all the time.

LaTara: So yeah. So we wanted to do a little research and we did wanna get some cool statistics for you too. But, so we found out there there [00:11:00] are five different types of imposter syndrome.

LaTara: Molly, talk to us about The five different types and maybe give a couple key points. So maybe someone listening could be like, Hey, maybe that's who I am.

Molly: I had no idea this was the thing. like you said, I literally did not know there were different types. I just assumed if you were an impo, if you felt imposter syndrome, that's what it was. so I think this is pretty cool. And the first one we have here is the perfectionist. so some things with that is someone who needs to meet extremely high, often unrealistic standards.

Molly: you have a fear of failure and mistakes. Who doesn't feel that all the time?

Molly: and you're also in a relentless pursuit of flawlessness, and that leads to anxiety and burnout. and the next one we have is the superhuman. Which this one [00:12:00] is categorized. as you feel a need to excel in all areas and overachieve, whether it's work, personal, a, anything.

Molly: you put an incredible amount of pressure on yourself, your heart on yourself, you're talking negative to yourself, and you feel like you must work harder. Others just to justify the success that you have made. the next one we have is the Natural Genius and the natural genius, believes that your success comes from their natural talent intelligence.

Molly: they also set super high standards, as things have come easily for them. So they always just set the bar super high. and they also struggle when challenged. May feel like a fraud. The next one we have is the soloist, and that is categorized [00:13:00] as someone who feels they must accomplish everything independently.

Molly: sees asking for help as a sign of weakness, and also they isolate themselves and become overwhelmed. I'm a soloist, as we looked over this.

Molly: I am a hundred percent a soloist. 

LaTara: When I first read all of these, I was just like, whoa, that is me on point.

Molly: yeah. Yeah. And, and again, I would've just thought I was an imposter and now, seeing these different types, I'm like narrowed down. So now I know what my quote unquote weakness or, whatever is, and.

LaTara: it's almost, there's a lot of conversation in, this woo and spiritual space. And just because you know the user, this is where I work and who I work with. But there's this term, it's not new by any means, but it's pretty, it's flying around a lot right now. And it's it's called an archetype. And it's almost like your archetype is, what is your imposter [00:14:00] syndrome archetype? And if you can figure that out, then you're not just gonna be pulling sales. Say, so say you're a soul. Soulist, soulless, You have no soul soloist. That's actually kind of hard word to say,

Molly: It's, it's, I definitely had to practice before we got on here because I'm like, oh my God, I don't wanna say this wrong.

LaTara: Yeah, right. Here we are. Oh. Oh. It's happening again. Molly. Our imposter syndrome kicking

Molly: Oh.

LaTara: hard. So So it's if you can figure out your archetype of that, then you're not picking random strategies to help you work through these little chunks of time you have throughout the day when you're feeling shitty.

LaTara: Yeah. What is the last one?

Molly: So the last one is gonna be the expert. and I might also categorize myself as this as well. 'cause I think I'm an expert sometimes,[00:15:00] I'm not. they 

LaTara: You're though

Molly: What?

LaTara: you're,

Molly: and see, that's the imposter syndrome right there, expert in.

LaTara: But you and I truly think there are so many things, I see so many qualities that Molly has that she does so well that I feel I don't do well. I would never apply for a job as a freelancer that has anything to do with customer service, calendar management, responding to emails, because I suck at those things. have an, I have three emails that I need to respond to for the school for my children. 

Molly: Oh my God.

LaTara: And a very nice email and I still haven't even responded to it. In my world, those are the things that Molly flies so high on. She is so good at those things, [00:16:00] and yeah.

Molly: And it's, it's so funny because I feel the same way about you. there's so many things that I see and I'm like, God, she is killing it. She's killing it. She continuously kills it. She knocks it out of the park. I, I go to laTara and ask her questions about things all the time. And I'm sure, as we're talking, like I think that about LaTara, but I know the things that I think she's wonderful at are things that she probably struggles internally and thinks she's not great at.

Molly: And

Molly: it's the same thing, like you're saying, I'm great at customer service and yes, I do know that's, that's, my forte I've done it since I 15 old. But still sometimes I'm like, God, I didn't respond properly, or, just getting in, in my head. And so

Molly: it's crazy the perspective of how you view yourself and how other people view you.

Molly: And so, yeah, as we were [00:17:00] saying, so with the last, imposter syndrome type is the expert, and this would be categorized as someone who feels that they know everything. you know anything you're talking about. They, they know every detail about it. somebody who also doubts their abilities.

Molly: despite having the knowledge, training degrees, whatever you wanna call it, they still doubt their ability. And person also struggles with procrastination and feeling overwhelmed. That right there is why I think I'm the expert and soloist not soloist.

LaTara: we do actually have a soul

LaTara: here. 

LaTara: do have a soul guys. We do,

latara_1_10-06-2023_094933: We don't just have.

Molly: but the struggling with procrastination and feeling overwhelmed, like I can relate to that so hard. you mentioned earlier in the episode, [00:18:00] I think about Or maybe I'm combining episodes, whatever, it doesn't matter. But we talked about at some point where like when you have deadlines and you know you have a week to do something and you keep pushing it off, and then you know, the day before comes around and you haven't even started it.

Molly: That's me all the time. And then I feel overwhelmed and I'm like, okay, well bitch, you did it to yourself.

LaTara: I know. I almost feel like that does need to go into the soloist category because we feel that we need to just do everything on our own and not ask for help ever. That does lead to procrastination because

LaTara: And I feel like that's a bigger conversation

Molly: Oh, that's a 

LaTara: around, yeah. Especially around the time. Conversation of outsourcing, And even if when you get bigger in your freelance journey, there's gonna be a time where you're actually gonna need to hire your own va.

LaTara: Molly and I have definitely had our, our fair share of people supporting us. And [00:19:00] it's really hard to give them things to do.

Track 1: Oh 

LaTara: And because, Of our con, we have, I, I'm speaking for both of us, but definitely for myself. we have severe control issues and, I mean, I have about you, Molly, but I have.

Track 1: I have, I had a va, which we've worked on and off. My work's a little slower right now, so I don't have her full time, but I would be sitting at my desk. frazzled trying to work on all this stuff. And then I'm like, oh, right. I have somebody that can help me. I was overwhelming myself.

LaTara: It would be more, it's more than capable

LaTara: of You don't need to.

Molly: And she'd message me on Slack and be like, do you have anything for me to do? I'm like, oh, right, right. I can have somebody help me.

LaTara: Mm-hmm.

Molly: I don't have to take on the world by myself.

LaTara: Exactly. Exactly. so again, just the names of the five items recap. So the perfectionist, superhuman, natural genius, soloist, and the expert.

Molly: Yeah.

LaTara: which ones do you, as you're [00:20:00] listening, maybe something standing out to you, maybe you're a combination of a couple like Molly Fields and, just keep those things in mind.

LaTara: when you're starting to, these feelings are starting to creep again. so what. let's talk about what's causing this imposter syndrome, what's causing these feelings that we're having? And again, perfectionism is definitely top of the list for sure.

Molly: Oh,

Molly: absolutely.

LaTara: you're, you're unsure about your self-worth. are your achievements really? Achievements. Did you just luck out when you got these? you're constantly downplaying yourself and your skills. You can't take that positive feedback. 'cause again, you feel you're a fake, you're, you've just been masking yourself this entire time. and so therefore you're comparing, yourself to other freelancers in the space. looking at all the things that they're doing, right? There's so much further along in the journey than you think you are, They are hitting six figures every year, multiple six figures, seven figures, and you're just like, what the heck? Why am I not doing that? I'm working so hard Every single day I have my head down.

LaTara: I'm at [00:21:00] my office. I'm doing all the things I need to do, and it's just not there. It's just not happening. And these are just 

Molly: Regarding comparing yourself to freelancers, 

Track 1: I would do this with you, I would compare myself to you and think about myself negatively. 'cause I'm like, she can do so much stuff. And she has, all these clients and I only have a handful, and what am I doing wrong and what can I, what do I need to do?

Track 1: And I, I was comparing myself and I did it

Track 1: for a few months. I would be like,

LaTara: yeah.

Molly: I don't know how she does it. I would, I would say things like, oh, she's still working and I wanna grow my business, but I've already clocked out, but I only have five clients. Like I was just hamster wheel of comparing myself to LaTara,

LaTara: Oh. Aw, I'm sorry. That sucks. And now that you know me,

LaTara: yeah, I have had a lot of success, but [00:22:00] I've also had a lot of failures and I've shared them with Molly and so now, like she's still figuring it out just like I am,

LaTara: aw,

Molly: right. And I 

Molly: just 

LaTara: and 

Molly: it a funny part to

LaTara: I do that too,

LaTara: Right. 

Molly: I just thought it was a good to put that in because I can literally personally relate to this and I can relate with person that I'm co-hosting this podcast with. that's literally, and I would tell, I would tell Steve, I'm like, God, she, I, she's so much better than me and she has so much more going for her, and she knows how to do so much more.

Molly: And Steve literally was like, whoa, what did, what did she do? And I would tell him, he is okay, well you can do that too. But then I got, I would get, I was like, in a few months I was like stuck in my head. So instead of looking at at someone else, And trying to figure out a plan on how I can achieve that.

Molly: I just sat this like anxious, being negative in my head. I could [00:23:00] never, I could never achieve those things. And

Molly: Steve's but you can, she wasn't born knowing how to do websites and all these other things. You could do it too. So, That's my little story.

LaTara: I love it. Thanks for sharing, Molly. You're so sweet. I love it. Yeah, I mean, I feel that way too a lot and, we'll talk about it when we more, when we get to the strategies, but my biggest thing is comparing myself to others in the space on social media,

Molly: Oh my 

LaTara: Social media is definitely my biggest, hardest thing I face for sure, but also another big one that sticks out is the childhood experiences, right? I grew up in a space had extremely high expectations of me of what I needed to be doing. How I needed to accomplish something, how I needed to take care of the family at a very young age. I had [00:24:00] a lot of responsibility as a extremely young child,

LaTara: I had to do things that I, yeah, it sucked, you know, and I had to do things that I shouldn't have been responsible of. As a child at such a young age. And I believe that, you do become who you are based off from, your experiences and your environment. And then as we release ourselves from those like bad environments and find good places, we do become a better, Product of who we are. We become the true product of who we

LaTara: always were meant to

LaTara: right? you always were. That you were born that way.

LaTara: You've always been this amazing human being. Just your environment might've clouded it and changed the thought process in your brain. And so I always have had this super high expectation of how things needed to be and who I was and how people perceive me. That's where the perfectionism hits super, super [00:25:00] hard.

LaTara: I always think the worst thing when I get, maybe not the best feedback from a client, I'm I'm getting fired today. I'm job. Right. I always think we're getting fired.

Molly: I'm getting fired every day. , even on my all days, I'm like, oh, Saturday, I'm relaxing on the couch. I'm.

LaTara: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

LaTara: Yeah. So let's talk about the strategies. how to overcome this. So again, you wanna identify your triggers, What are the common things that keep coming? Up, Molly, for her, she was saying in the personal story with me, she was saying, it kept coming up like, lahar is so much further along.

LaTara: She has more clients than me. She's making more money than me. she's got this whole life together. those are things that were like coming to her, right? And so she knows no, this isn't right. she needs to reframe her negative thoughts. [00:26:00] And then you wanna focus on learning To not have perfection done is so much better than perfect. So much better. Yeah. B

LaTara: plus work isn't that bad. It really isn't

Molly: right.

LaTara: It really

LaTara: isn't. 

Molly: not.

LaTara: And so celebrate those tiny wins. And find community. someone to talk to. Molly and I, we talk about the shit we're feeling crappy about all the time to each other. if I didn't have you, Molly, seem to be such a wreck all the time. I would.

Molly: I feel.

LaTara: Yeah, I would be a disaster. And that's why we talked about, in the very beginning of the podcast episodes, find a freelancing space where you can talk to someone and vent to somebody because you need, this isn't a traditional type of job. You don't go to work and have your work bestie at out in the corporate space [00:27:00] anymore,

LaTara: Right.

LaTara: you need that. You need that

Molly: do need that.

LaTara: in the freelance world? Yeah. You have to be able to talk stuff through. And so Molly and I were constantly like reminding each other Hey, You totally know what you're doing. You got this it's, it's okay to feel it's okay to feel this way.

LaTara: Molly? So can you share with us, one. maybe you need to get professional help. Maybe you can talk to someone as like a mentor or a doctor or whatever if, because there might be some other underlying things that you need to uncover that we're, we obviously are not capable of doing because we're not medical professionals. But what are realistic things that we can talk about in regards to the workspace, when these feelings are creeping up, and how to navigate and overcome it in the moment and maybe work towards overcoming it long term.

Molly: something I like to do is, if I'm feeling super negative and super down, or my soloist imposter syndrome, I like [00:28:00] to look at the stuff that I've created. I like to also go back to the stuff I first created.

Molly: let's say video editing. I'll go back the first things I have in iMovie or whatever other platforms I've used or can, I'll go even look handbook and look.

LaTara: Oh my gosh. Just scroll, just throwing, scrolling through your Canva.

Molly: Yes, that'll

LaTara: It's literally a, a monologue of how you've grown in your profession,

Molly: yes. I mean, if you go back to the first few graphics you made, and I don't even care, if you had a background in graphic design, your stuff still has always grown. I'm sure it's always gotten better because we're always evolving and learning and growing. So I like to go back and look at the things that I have created and where I've come.

Molly: I like to look at the websites that I've built. I like to look at landing pages that I've built.[00:29:00] I'm somebody who jots everything down on like a notepad, because if not, I'll forget it. I like to sometimes sit down and write out. my accomplishments, my qualifications, how many sites I've worked on, how long I've been video editing, like things that will help me get into a positive mind space and get me out of that negative feeling.

latara_1_10-06-2023_094933: '

Track 1: cause I'm a visual, I'm a visual person too. So visually looking at a list and seeing you've been doing websites for three years, you can do Wix, WordPress, Kajabi. looking at the different video platforms I can use versus what I started off using. something that also helps me is, testimonials.

Track 1: Like I'll look at previous testimonials from people. And trying to get a lot better at this, but when I get positive feedback for a project or[00:30:00] whatever it is, I try to really sit in the moment and sit with that and just soak up that good emotion and almost meditate. So I don't let those negative feelings creep back in You mentioned earlier about something on a website that's really bothering you, but a client loves it.

LaTara: Mm-hmm.

Molly: I have that happen all the time where I build things and I'm like, they're not gonna like this. Someone else could have done it. It's not good. It's not good. 

Molly: just receiving That positive praise that feedback from a client, realizing that they're only seeing the wonderful work that I've put out. They're not seeing all the, it took to get there.

Molly: Like how I've probably cried at my desk once, how I've rebuilt it 10 times. Like at the end of the day, they love it. That makes everything worth it. And that also shows like you built something, you made something. I also try to put that [00:31:00] in perspective for myself too. 

LaTara: those are just a few things that I do to, help get myself out of the imposter syndrome and start building more confidence in my, in myself, and my abilities, and not being so negative and doubting myself and feeling like a failure.

LaTara: Yeah. Oh my gosh, that was really powerful. I, that was really good, Molly. I loved that a lot. she, you clearly you're, I really, really, really get stuck in imposter syndrome when it comes to social media. I sometimes I'll take social media breaks and I'll say, okay, Nick, he'll be like, Hey, did you get that thing I sent you? And I'll be like, Nope, I didn't, I'm not on Instagram today. I had to get off my, and he's like, why? And I'm like, because it's making me feel like total garbage. It makes me feel. It's fake. How can you feel garbage from something that's fake? well, they do a really good job putting on that [00:32:00] mask. So it looks pretty real to me. and I think it's because I spend, so, I mean part of the reason why I don't offer social media services anymore is because 

LaTara: So much of my life was being suspend on social media. 'cause you gotta keep up with what everyone's doing and making sure you're ahead of the next person, how can I be better from them? So I can show up more on social media. I had to think about those things for my clients. to make them speak out. And so when I'm constantly in the man mindset of, oh, this isn't good enough. This needs to be better, this needs to be better, this needs better. It's exhausting. It's so exhausting. And so that is one of my personal reasons why I do not offer social media services anymore. But two, it's because I'll get stuck in this. Real trance, and it's just showing me how far along people are in their businesses and their incredible morning routines, and their house is super clean, their desk is like perfectly neat when they get to work.[00:33:00] and I don't like it at all, and 

LaTara: so I actually 

LaTara: have all my notifications always turned off, so I take a long time to respond to people's things on social media because of that. So I won't see the notifications like popping up all the time.

Track 1: Yeah.

LaTara: so I recommend just in general and to keep on, stay on task with work. just, just turn off your notifications. They're not that important. And if someone needs you, they'll, they'll call you. So they're, you're not missing out on anything at all. It doesn't matter. So I will put my phone in a completely different room. When I'm feeling really crappy and I'll be like, yep, not gonna look at my phone for a while. And then I'll, sit for a minute and I'll think about The things that empower me, that make me feel good about what I really have accomplished and that I actually do deserve to just praise myself.

LaTara: I wish you guys could see this [00:34:00] visualization as I'm talking, but you think about your progress day by day, right? And it literally just constantly is this jaggedy up and down. Pointy straight up, straight down, straight up, straight down every day. But then you look at it okay, over a month it's is a little bit of a wave form.

LaTara: it's not so jaggedy, It's, it's a little wavy and then you look back further and you think about it for a whole year, and it's literally this curve that just goes straight up. And it's incredible to think about it like that because in when you're in the thick of it, day by day, just focusing on that, it feels so up and down. But those up and downs are actually what is gonna make you grow in, in an insane amount over the next year or whatever. And so if you just keep looking at it like that and think, wow, I am literally where I wanted to be. Five years ago, I thought this was impossible and I'm where I wanna be. I'm where I wanted to be [00:35:00] five years ago, and I think there's no way this could have happened, I have been in such low points in my life, such low, incredibly point points. One time I was so poor that I couldn't afford gas to get to work. I had literally $5 in my bank account and I had to return. recyclables and returnables to the redemption center to be able to get gas, and I had to drive my car in neutral 'cause it was downhill,

LaTara: that I would make it to the redemption center before I ran outta gas to cross the road.

LaTara: To get to the gas station. To get the gas like I've been that broke in my life. Right. One of the many low points in my life. I've had plenty that are way worse than that, but this isn't the right time or place for that type of and.

Molly: We could, we could both talk about that for a long time.[00:36:00] 

LaTara: And, so I was so broke I couldn't even get gas, right? And who knows how I got gas the next day? I don't even know, but somehow I got there, right? So it's like that was that day where my chart, my line was going way, way, way, way, way down. But I clearly skyrocketed because here I am. Living in a home that I love. I have a super healthy family that I love more than anything in this world. And I now get to sit here and work from home, choose who I wanna work with, and I'm sharing this incredible podcast with an amazing friend I met online that lives in a completely different state.

Molly: Right, right. The chart. The chart, LaTara, is, I have never at it like that, and [00:37:00] I can tell you that what you just said is going to, I'm gonna start applying that because I've never thought of it like that

LaTara: Yeah,

Molly: look at it.

LaTara: and I, and I like picture it in my mind,

Molly: I, picturing it right 

LaTara: do. Yeah.

Molly: And it's jagged as fuck.

LaTara: Mm-hmm.

Molly: But if I picture it from the beginning of even August to now, it's gone up

LaTara: Mm-hmm.

Molly: and it will continue to go up.

Molly: So looking at it like that, that's, that was a fantastic analogy. I would've never thought of that.

LaTara: Yeah. Cool. Well, for those of you listening, seriously, start doing it because it is empowering and it really does get you out of those shitty thoughts.

Molly: Yeah. Yeah. And you said about social media is so true. except for I post . I posted a reel this morning. That was [00:38:00] my completely. Overfilled disgusting sink and I made a reel and I just posted. And I literally, in the description,

LaTara: I.

Molly: in the description, I literally wrote, this is real life, not social media.

LaTara: Yeah, it is. It totally is. It really is. And I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. You have to film the real crap. Seriously, because Instagram is so

LaTara: fake. 

Molly: We talk about that forever because yeah, it's, all these people with this, like these gorgeous homes and there's not even dust in the corners and wake up and do 

LaTara: I 

Molly: Pilates and have a smoothie it.

LaTara: yeah.

Molly: That's great. That's awesome. Like I'm not trying to put people down who are at that level of success or whatever the case is, but at the end of the day, that's not real life, especially if you have children or if you have animals.

Molly: I have four animals. There is no way, like there is dust in every one of my corners.

LaTara: Right

LaTara: Yeah, [00:39:00] of course. It's real I'm everywhere. My poor children are like, mom, there's another spider in the corner. Please kill it so I can go. My God, damnit. So, and that's the other thing that we're talking about, like again, Molly, she just said, Their success if that's their success. So that's what I'm talking about. we are at a different season, we're at a different space, and everybody looks at success in such a different way. These people that we think might have their shit together, they actually probably feel just like us.

Molly: They probably do.

LaTara: yeah, they feel just like us. They're like, oh my gosh, I'm not anywhere. It's near where I wanna be in life. so the point is, is label it, sit with it, be comfortable with it. When you're more comfortable with things, it's not as scary. It's not, it really isn't. 

latara_1_10-06-2023_094933: So, Again, we really want [00:40:00] you to know that it is okay to feel this. Everybody feels this, and if you're battling with this self-doubt and you need to work, and building your confidence in your freelance journey, in your work environment, it's okay.

latara_1_10-06-2023_094933: We all feel this, and it's just so important to identify how you're feeling, get it outta your head, talk it through with someone if you need to, and know that you truly do deserve. The success in your life, you really do deserve it. you are working hard to have this and it's okay. And, and don't think because someone you know is making 10 k a month in their freelance business and you're you're still starting out, you still have a full-time job. So how are you gonna be making 10 a month if you still have a full-time job, right? Like you can get there. That is a reality. It just takes. Time and again that I'm so glad that I was able to share this thing that I do with all of you and Molly, and just think about [00:41:00] that chart and that line and how it really is actually going up.

Molly: Mm-hmm.

LaTara: I mean, for anybody that's a parent will totally get this, the nights are so long when you're a parent and you have a baby. The nights are so lonely and hard and challenging and very depressing at times. But the years are so short and so beautiful and There's nothing else better in the world. 

Molly: I think you just nailed it and you almost just made me cry and, 

LaTara: Oh,

Molly: Well, I'm guys, I'm a cry baby. I cry at everything. But what 

LaTara: Molly is, love it so much.

LaTara: it about her.

Molly: oh God, it's gonna get better. And I'm like, I'm like looking in camera at myself, I'm like, oh God. God. Don't let the tears fall

Molly: But

LaTara: Just take it day by day.

Molly: take take it day by day and remember the, the chart that Lat Tara mentioned and keep that mental chart in [00:42:00] your head. And also, in the beginning of the episode when we talked about the five different types of imposter syndrome,

Molly: Let us know what yours is. We would really love to hear from and talk about it and not, I mean, obviously we're not medical professionals, so we cannot give you advice like that or anything.

Molly: But, we'd, you know, love to know what your, imposter syndrome type is and, just identifying it and, Focusing on the winds and positivity and trying to remove the fear and doubt from your mind.

LaTara: Yep. I love it. so you can contact us in the show notes. We'll have our links to our, Instagram accounts. Make sure you go check those out and follow us. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to this podcast because by you subscribing. It just tells the world that more people want to learn about these incredible topics. And Molly and I now have an official email that we're super excited about and we had so much fun creating because we truly believe this should be fun and not exhausting. And however [00:43:00] we we're not into boring shit. And so instead of emailing us at support@theburnoutfreelancer.com, we decided that our email at you can email us at I'm tired@theburnoutfreelancer.com.

Molly: I love it. I love it. it's relatable and it's fun.

LaTara: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So shoot us a Hi. We love you very much. Thank you for the support, and we can't wait to talk to you next week.