The Truth about Rejection and How to Bounce Back as a Freelancer

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Rejection is an inevitable part of the freelance journey. From losing out on projects to having clients end the relationship. And that’s why in this week’s episode, we get real about rejection - because it’s tough ⤵️

We’ll cover some mindset shifts to help you bounce back:
☕ Don’t take it personally. There are many reasons a lead may say no that have nothing to do with you or your abilities. Timing, budgets, bad fit - don't internalize it
☕ Forcing a match rarely ends well. A "no" can just mean something better is coming
☕ Learn from feedback when you can. If a client offers advice on why they didn't choose you, view it as an opportunity to improve. Just don't obsess over vague rejections
☕ Remember it's a numbers game and you only need one yes to land an amazing client
☕ Use rejection to fuel motivation. Let the nos spark you to keep pitching clients until you find one who is wildly enthusiastic about working with you

Rejection still stings, but focusing on delivering great work and strengthening your business helps. Share your stories of rejection and strategies for resilience - we want to hear from you! Email us at imtired@theburntoutfreelancer.com 

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Transcript

​[00:00:00] 

Molly: Hey there, freelancers, and welcome back to the Burnout Freelancer Podcast. 

Molly: I'm your host, Molly Block, and I have the beautiful Latara Dunn with me today. And today we're diving into a topic that's common Dealing with rejection in the world of freelancing. We've all been there. The lost bids, the client saying no, the project slipping through our fingers.

Molly: Rejection stings, And it's not all rainbows and butterflies, guys we all know that. but it's also an inevitable part of the freelancing journey. In this episode, we're exploring how to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of rejection, share strategies for resilience, and discuss how to turn setbacks into stepping stones towards future success. So grab your favorite beverage, find a cozy spot, and let's tackle the art of handling lost bids and clients saying no.

Molly: Alright, lat. So today [00:01:00] we're talking about dealing with rejections andUm, I know we've both experienced it and it's tough, right?

LaTara: Oh my gosh, it's so tough. I have dealt with so much rejection in freelance business over the years and I used to let it really bother. Like it, I used, it used to really get to me, right, because I 

Molly: Mm-Hmm. 

LaTara: Question everything I was doing. Did I really even know what I'm talking about? Am I actually good at what I do?

LaTara: have people just been blowing smoke up my ass, , like, and 

Molly: Right. 

LaTara: it's a really crappy feeling because nobody likes to feel rejection, right? Like at a human level, nobody feels good. with rejection and it can . Create this mental barrier if you let it eat you up on the inside. Right. And

Molly: absolutely.

LaTara: yeah, and I used to really let it eat me up and just think about it [00:02:00] nonstop and ugh, it was horrible.

LaTara: And then as time went on. I started realizing that it's really not that big of a deal and I, I don't mind it because I have found that when I force things like force a client to not force a client to work with me, but when I work really hard at getting this client to book that might not have totally wanted to, but I was just persistent, we end up not really having that great 

latara_1_11-14-2023_102206: of a 

LaTara: relationship.

LaTara: Right.

Molly: Yeah,

LaTara: Because we weren't aligned. And I really work hard at making sure me and my potential clients align well before we sign a contract. And we're really open with our philosophies and know, , how we live our lives and we wanna make sure we're on the same level field there. And so . Now if I'm not forcing these things and there is rejection, it's okay [00:03:00] because they really shouldn't have worked with me anyways.

LaTara: You know, it sucks when you have a potential lead that maybe the income would've been really great, right? And you're like, wow, I really could have used that extra chunk of income every single month. And so when you get super excited about that and then they say, no, that does suck. But it's not a reflection of you.

LaTara: It's just they're not, they don't wanna work with you or they're just not ready to work with you.

Molly: Yeah, and I love what, you mentioned like .The forcing clients to work with you. And I know what you mean by that. You're not making them holding their hand, signing a contract or anything, but you're pushing it a little more. And then once the client does sign, you realize you just, you don't vibe.

Molly: And, I feel like I've done that, especially in my early years. I had a few clients that. I kind of pushed, you know, I was that pushy person and I thought I was just being, [00:04:00] diligent, I guess. And, you know, emailing them a bunch and messaging them, andI promise this and I finally get them.

Molly: It's not a good match at all. And then, they end up firing me or end up firing them and. Rejection in the freelance world. I like to relate it to a regular job. When I was younger, I applied to, you know, you apply everywhere. You apply to this job and you apply here. And I remember before I got my manager job at the spa, I was putting applications in everywhere.

Molly: I got rejected all the time. Like I might've put 10 applications in. and heard back from one of 'em, you know, or the other one said, no, and I just moved on from it, But when it's freelance, I think we take it more personally because it's a business that we've built from the ground up. It's like our baby, [00:05:00] and we do think it's a reflection of us, especially those who are really hard on themselves.

Molly: You, take it more personally and. , it's something you can't harp on it. That rejection could have opened up a spot for a huge, big ticket client that aligns with all your values is gonna pay that high retainer and is ready to start. I always think things happen for a reason, right?

Molly: And that rejection just means more doors open for you, I think.

LaTara: Oh yeah, absolutely. They really do. And as soon as I started accepting that and realizing that a lot of things came my way, just a couple weeks ago, there was a client that, a potential client, excuse me, a lead that reached out to me. She found me on Instagram and she wanted to work with me. She, I, she lacked a bunch of my posts.

LaTara: She was leaving comments so I could tell that she was , checking in and seeing what I was all about. A lot of my new clients find me on Instagram and, she [00:06:00] booked a call with me. She was emailing me prior to the call, asking me right off the bat like, Hey, does this package in your service guide offer these services?

LaTara: She seemed super proactive and I was getting really excited 'cause I'm like, oh my gosh, I, this person's great. Like I love what she does. Obviously I checked out her website. And her work aligned with my type of client, and she was gonna be doing a migration to Kajabi. So that was like perfect for me.

LaTara: I was super excited. It was gonna be a big project. And then we had , the call, we talked about everything, and she , had me send her over a proposal, and then I never heard back from her again.

Molly: Oh my gosh.

LaTara: Yeah. And I sent her, a follow-up and I could see that she checked out the proposal and she opened it up and she was like, still liking my stuff on Instagram, still watching my stories, but she just never said, yeah, [00:07:00] actually I changed my mind. , I don't wanna do this.

Molly: right?

LaTara: And I'm what the, what's going on?

Molly: She left you on red.

LaTara: yeah.

LaTara: It's all good. She's a ass woman. Her business looks amazing. Like what? She's very active in it. She clearly has some awesome strategy because thing, all the parts are moving and I'm like, no, this has nothing to do with me. She just isn't ready to work with me yet. and it's okay. I, back in the day, I would've let that moment in time eat me alive and spiraled from there.

LaTara: Right? 

Track 1: Oh yeah. 

LaTara: I just don't do that anymore. And, because I let that just fly right on by, like whatever, it's all good. And then another client came to me and I signed her and it was great. And I feel like if I would've obsessed over that moment, I probably wouldn't have had that other client come to me.[00:08:00] 

Molly: Exactly. You wouldn't, you wouldn't. , I had something similar like that happen. I had a client who I had worked with in the past. We have a very good relationship and she asked me to help her with some in-person stuff, which I've done one other time. And it was pretty cool, , 'cause you never meet your clients.

Molly: I mean, your clients are all over the place. So, she kind of lives close to me. It's like an hour away. And I was trying to figure out a price because how the heck do you price in person? Right? I'm, trying to calculate what I would make from all my clients and, you know, to make up for that time and yada yada.

Molly: And. I had imposter syndrome and I didn't wanna tell her the amount, and I did, I ended up telling her and she said she would think about it, and I haven't heard anything since, and I didn't take it personally because, , I totally understand that she's a small business. I understand her business.

Molly: I know it's probably something that she can't [00:09:00] afford at the moment. And right after that, I actually signed my first high ticket client. Which yes, in four years I signed my first high ticket client, so that was amazing. But

LaTara: Yay. Congratulations. I'm so 

Molly: Thank you. Thank 

LaTara: a big deal that Molly did this. She was really to send them the proposal.

Molly: I told Lat Tara I had imposter syndrome because it's the first, it's the first high ticket client. And I felt so weird sending this amount to them. And it's funny because it's, actually podcast support. And so I was like, oh yeah, and

Molly: And it just goes to show like if I would've harped on this client, this in-person opportunity, I probably wouldn't have got this podcast client because I would've just been harping on that and messaging her and thinking about [00:10:00] it and crying about it, and all the things.

Molly: And so It's hard to not take things personally, but sometimes, your message maybe just doesn't align with somebody, and that doesn't mean it's a reflection of you or your business. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It just means that you're not, that client's not right for you, but

Molly: there's clients out there. I mean, The freelance world and people hiring freelancers is off the charts right now. People are hiring for everything. So many virtual opportunities are coming up for us freelancers, just don't focus on . The opportunity that you think you lost because then you get in the way of opening doors for other opportunities to come along.

LaTara: I really, really like that. So tell me more, Molly, like back in the beginning, you know, , when you first started dealing with rejection and, you said you take it just like, [00:11:00] applying to a regular job, right? But. What were some situations that you faced that, like did you ever have a moment in time that it was really difficult for you to overcome the rejection of a client saying no, or the rejection of a client ending services with you?

Molly: Yes. So me the analogy with like, applying to real jobs, that's something I've actually thought about I would say the last year I. Because now I'm more seasoned. I'm going on year four. But in the beginning I was so eager, just like most of you who are beginning so eager to get that client that I would do anything.

Molly: And, I applied to this one job. It was an agency and I got on the call with the lady and she was super nice and I felt, you know, even back in the day for interviews, I used to like dress nicely. Like I was going to a real job. Now, ah, I'll brush my hair and put on a nice shirt, but, ah, I ain't getting fancy.[00:12:00] 

Molly: So I had like, put on this nice outfit and done my makeup and done my hair and set up my, you know, little area for the interview and I was so nervous. And afterwards, . I must have checked my email, no bullshit, like every 10 minutes to see if she responded to me. It took

Molly: over 

LaTara: rough.

Molly: my life like

Molly: it, I mean, I know that sounds dramatic,

Molly: but , when I first started, it was COVID, it was tough out here and and. , I kept checking and I kept checking and I finally got an email, I think it was like three or four days later. she basically said I wasn't a good fit, but in a nice way. And, said the, typical, we'll keep you in mind for later projects. And I just went in the back room and looked at Steve and just started crying.

Molly: And I was like, they're not gonna reach back out to me. They're lying. I don't have a client, yada yada. And I'm just like, so upset. And he's like, [00:13:00] but you've shown me that Facebook group that you've got a lot of jobs from. And they post all the time. And then I got upset and was like, you're downplaying my feelings,

Molly: But I was, so consumed with it. And,, I just kept pushing. I kept pushing. And not long after that, I got a referral. For a lovely, lovely client that I still work with, and it just, it took me a while to see that there's other fish in the sea. If you, you know, wanna phrase

Molly: it like that, 

LaTara: Yeah, 

Molly: it. took me a while because again, I had just decided to do this ginning of covid, like I just jumped in. I had the customer service aspect, but I didn't know how to do websites and graphics, and once I knew how to do the little things, I was so excited. You know, I know how to use Canva. And I wanted to show the world that I know how to use it. And, you know, I a applied for that position, other graphic positions, and I didn't, I didn't get them and [00:14:00] I took it, I took it really personally. I got really upset. Like, so much so that one day I just like stopped working halfway through the day because I realized I wasn't doing stuff for my other clients. I was just checking my email. So, now that I have the mentality of the analogy with interviewing, you know, for a regular position and not, hearing back or them telling you No, it's just, it's easier for me. I could really love a client and I think they could align, but if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

Molly: And I, just wanna emphasize it's not a reflection of your skills or your business. 

Molly: It's just an opportunity that didn't align at the moment.

LaTara: Yeah, I, I like that. That was a really good story. I just, I don't know, I definitely used to beat myself up. On it 

Molly: Yeah. Yeah. 

LaTara: the spiraling was ridiculous. And [00:15:00] it just doesn't get you forward at all in your business, right? Like it doesn't help you move forward and it's all, you know, it really is all the numbers game, 

LaTara: right? you're going to get a lot of nos before you get a yes. And that was, one of the first things I ever learned in sales back in the day. When I had a sales job and it was just like straight up commission. That was the only way I earned money. And it was, 

LaTara: literally like, you're going to get a thousand doors slammed in your face before someone opens it up and welcomes you in.

LaTara: And

Molly: Yeah, I love that.

LaTara: yeah, and it sucked to go through it, but it taught me a lot. And I, did have a lot of doors slammed in my face and. It, just helped me realize, one, learn a lot about people and you know what they mean based off from what they're saying based off from what they're actually meaning.

LaTara: I was able to learn a lot that way. . The part that I think I have the hardest time with is ending the job with somebody not the no with a lead. I'm like, whatever. [00:16:00] I'll just, you know, find someone else. But it's once they've already acquired this relationship with somebody.

LaTara: And then them have to say, okay, we're no longer gonna be working together, or I need to take a pause. Can we pause our retainer for the next couple months? And usually when someone says that, you're like, Ugh. So does that mean that we're, we're not getting back together?

Molly: Right. You know, what's coming. It's when we need to take a break.

Molly: That we're done.

LaTara: Right, right. And you know, clearly they care about you. Right? They don't wanna hurt your feelings.

LaTara: But it's like, dating, ? And so you just go through a lot of relationships and along the way you're able to become a better freelancer. Your skills improve, and you meet a lot of really cool people. And, doors do open from those people, even the ones that you have to stop working with.

Molly: Yeah. I've been fortunate that I haven't had too much rejection from clients that I currently work with just because a lot of my clients are very small hours [00:17:00] so I just do general admin for them. So even if businesses having a lull and they let other people go, I usually am fortunate and able to stay, but I have

Molly: gone through losing a client I would say at least two to three times. The last one was this year, and it is, it's devastating. It is because as LaTara mentioned. It is a relationship, like you have built a relationship with this person, and yes, you've never met them in person, but like you have this connection.

Molly: You know their business, they know you, depending on how close you get, maybe they know you on a little more of a personal level. Maybe you know them on a personal level, and to lose that client. Is is hard. It's a lot different than somebody saying no in the beginning of, , a job interview.

Molly: You haven't worked with that person yet. So yes, it's hard for them to say no to your proposal[00:18:00] or whatever it is, but when you already have that relationship.

Molly: I personally, take it very, very personally and get really upset especially when there's no explanation, like when the communication's bad about it, because then I really don't know why, and so I'm just blaming myself.

LaTara: Right. You like think, okay, the reason we're getting done is because their business is not successful. They don't have a lot of sales coming in, and it clearly is my fault, right? . I could have done so many things differently. I could help them out in a bunch of different ways. I wasn't clearly giving them my fullest capacity, and then again, you just spiral and question everything that you're doing.

LaTara: I. . So something that I've started doing that Nick encouraged is just asking them. So like, I had a client that has to pause and we absolutely love working together, and she really does wanna just pause for a couple months while they [00:19:00] restructure the like marketing plan that they have going on in their offer, which is fine.

LaTara: It makes sense because I don't have anything like to do for them, I was just like, is there something that I could have done? 

LaTara: differently?

LaTara: Is it my fault? 

LaTara: , it's okay to ask a client, be like, Hey, is there something that I could have done better on my end to serve you or support you, I guess I would say, to support you in my services?

Molly: I would love some feedback because I'm always trying to make sure that, I'm constantly improving my skills, , in my business. 'cause I wanna keep growing and I wanna have a respected brand. 

Molly: I really love what you said reminding yourself

Molly: Not taking it personally and thinking like, oh my God, I did something wrong. And, you know, ask them, I love that you do that lat,

Molly: like asking them straight up what could I have done better to support you?

Molly: And that way you have that honest communication. I would rather somebody be completely honest with me when they're offboarding [00:20:00] me or firing me or whatever you wanna call it,

Molly: um, ending terms. I would rather them be honest than to make up some bullshit , I want somebody to be honest with me. And genuine. And because if somebody doesn't give me feedback or I forget to ask, and, , it's not offered, I am gonna harp on it and think about it. And you can't focus on it. You can't, like you did what you could and it's not working out right now. And maybe they will come back in a few months, maybe they won't, but . Just look for that next client and just don't harp on it.

LaTara: Right, exactly. 

LaTara: So maybe you have dealt with rejection along the way , we would love to hear, , what strategies or, , coping mechanisms or steps or whatever process is what is helping you in getting over, not being blocked in, like shifting your mindset, we would love to hear. So [00:21:00] feel free to send us a DM on Instagram. Are ig handles are in the show notes, or send us an email at, I'm tired@theburnoutfreelancer.com. We really would love to hear your feedback and if you have maybe a deeper question that's totally unrelated to this and this episode kind of alerted you, just something that you've been wondering for a long time, feel free to ask.

LaTara: Us as well. We'd love to connect and support this community in whatever way that we can. So, yeah. With that, thank you so much for joining us today, and we really can't wait to talk to you next week.

Molly: Thanks everyone. Bye.